Bad Habits

Hey guys!
So it seems that nobody really prepares you for how busy life can actually get. I've been trying to set time aside so I can continue my blogging as well as work on some of the short stories I am desperately trying to finish so I can start the publishing process. It's crazy how quickly time flies, it felt like just yesterday I was sitting down to get this blog up and going and now it's been 2 months since my last post! I have been terribly busy! However, I've taken up running daily so that consumes most of my time after the work day, then weekends with friends which as you can imagine fills up so incredibly fast. I'm also working on getting my youtube channel up and going, it's pretty difficult to find the time to get everything done without just locking myself in a room alone for a week or two!

Either way, today I was thinking about how much time has slipped through my fingers, and I was trying to think if I had spent that time right. I look back on the last couple of months as realize that I have a few "bad habits" that need to be changed. Here are a few I'm working towards changing now:

1) Being a pushover
2) Allowing others to make my decisions
3) Caving to Cravings
4) Laziness ... it's contagious
5) Defences at the ready

That's just a short list of what I'd like to see changing. It's always easier I find, to start with a short list and accomplish those goals, then to overwhelm myself with a handful and stress out about not reaching them.

So here's what's been eating me with these "bad habits"

Being a pushover

It's not entirely a bad thing to be a push over, but when it starts to interfere with your life and things that you need to get done, then it's a problem. My issue with this is I have a lot of friends and family who demand desire my attention, and when said friends/family ask me to do things, or spend time with them, I can't always make that possible. But instead of standing my ground and saying "no" I allow them to make me feel bad or guilty and end up doing as they asked instead of doing what I need to do. (e.g. laundry, house work, exercise, make lunch for work etc.) Therefore I suffer.

Allowing others to make my decisions

This one is really bad. I find this happens more particularly when I am drinking. Even though I am fine in my surroundings and content with the group of people I am with currently, one of them would chirp up introduce the idea of going to a bar, and somehow I would be dragged into the equation. Resulting in spending money unintentionally, drinking excessively, staying awake later then planned, I'm sure you get the jest of it. 

Caving to Cravings

I'm referring to a lot of different "cravings" here. Cravings can be just about anything, food, sex, smoking, drinking, there's probably tons more. My top 2 are food and smoking. I quit smoking a good while back, and I am a non smoker currently, but when drinking is introduced, my will power diminishes a little bit, and I start to get the craving to smoke. I will not buy a pack, nor will I smoke when sober, except when drinking takes place and I'm surrounded by friends who all smoke, it does get quite challenging to turn down all the offers to smoke. As for the food, I try my best to eat healthy and balanced, but there's always that craving after a night of drinking, or just being tired and not wanting to cook, that the drive thru lanes of just about any fast food restaurant just seems ideal.

Laziness... it's contagious

And it truly is. I try not to let laziness get the best of me, however you can't always control it. If you have friends who are lazy, then your aware of how contagious it becomes. Laying on the couch watching TV, "hanging out". Especially if your doing this for a good chunk of the day, it's hard to get motivated after all that sitting to go and run for 45 minutes. 

Defences at the ready

I've been like this since I was very young. I've always felt the need to defend myself and what I was saying. As if who ever I was speaking to didn't believe me, or they wanted to see proof that what I was saying was true. This habit definitely worsened after law school. My teacher was always telling us, "where's your proof? Where's your back up?" Needless to say I was very good at providing my proof and back up, but in everyday conversation, needless to say it is less important to give "proof". And honestly, why should I? People need to stop caring what others think. (This is advice I should be following myself.)

So today I thought, "Enough is enough!" and decided it's time to make a change.   

So here's the plan:

I've decided that I can no longer be a push over. That my friends and family will accept the fact that I have a busy life, I am an independent woman who needs time to prep for my work week and take time for me to de-stress and relax, and that it's not that I am avoiding them. The part that sucks with telling your friends this, is they get super defensive and assume you don't want to see them any more. This isn't the case, and those who are your true friends will stay. The rest. C'est la vie.

I'm not going to allow people to make decisions for me any more. So I'm not going to get my self into situations where I have to depend on people for rides, help, etc. I'm going to do me, and if I somehow get dragged into yet another bogus idea leading me to entrapment with no way out, I'll plain and simply say "no thank you". (3 words that people find so hard to say sometimes)

I think I'm going to cut back on the drinking also. I don't drink much as it is, only the odd weekend here and there with friends celebrating, however those couple of "odd times" have led to me smoking, eating junk food, spending money without wanting, and more drinking. It appears that my caving for cravings are at their worst when I am partying, so if I remove the drinking from the equation, perhaps I'll be able to have a stronger will power to say no to the vices my friends wrap their lives with,

I've cut time with friends out, and limited it to 2-3 times per week and the rest of the time I am focusing on me and what I need to accomplish during the work week. I have recently purchased a fitbit and I now track my daily steps. It appears that time not spent with friends or family, I am far more active and eager to reach my daily step goal. So I've given myself a couple of "lazy" days through the work week to spend with friends and family and I have made my weekend optional lazy days. (I mean it is a weekend after all, it's supposed to be your time off work to relax and regroup)

Lastly, and probably my most challenging. Learning not to defend myself when talking with people, or even with writing for that matter. I think what I need to do is to learn to relax, meditate perhaps and let go of what ever rain cloud I hold over my head demanding an explanation for all that I say. It's going to be challenging, but I figured if this is what I focus on this week, then I can regroup at the end of the week and see what changes I have made and what changes I need to continue to make until it is habit.


Have you gone through bad habits and made changes for the better in your life? I'd love to read about some of your habits and changes you've made and if they worked or not.

Until next time!

Be Fun. Be Happy. Be you.

Lot's of love,

Jax

xox